January 30, 2012

Sweet 16

This might just be one of my favorite pictures of me.
It’s not because I was young and fit, but rather it represents a really great time in my life where I became me.
This picture was taken during the summer before my senior year of high school. This was the summer that I discovered MUSCLES J. At this point in my life I thought that anything was possible. If I wanted to be a doctor, I could have been. [[I didn’t, but still the possibility was open to me.]] Back then, my life consisted of grabbing my dog Lilly, getting in my car and going off to the beach. This was before boyfriends. [[Yes, my first boyfriend happened during my senior year and he sucked and I dumped him.]] I think that is why I love this picture so much. I can literally pin-point with this picture exactly when I was blossoming and finding out EXACTLY who I was.
Exercise was the one avenue that helped me realize who I was. While my “friends” were busy getting high on drugs, I was constantly high on endorphins. I lived for the challenge of a workout. I lived for the miles I would log on my dad’s treadmill. I was constantly happy. I was so happy that at times people thought I was manic. I was so happy because I had found fulfillment without NEEDING anybody or anything else but myself. This is where my strength came from. This is where I learned to not care what other people thought of me and to not be afraid to stand up for what I believed in, even if that meant standing alone. This is when I became ME.
Today, I’m still this girl. I might come in a different package and have a million responsibilities in life now, but I’ll never stop believing that everything is possible. I will always base my happiness on myself and nobody else…not even my kids. And like I explain to my husband, everyone who is in my life is in it because I CHOOSE to have them in my life…not because I need them.

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