October 8, 2012

Encounters of the Negative Kind



I've come to realize that when people are unhappy with themselves and where they are in life, they tend to project that unhappiness onto everyone and everything. Most of the time the things that make people unhappy tend to be things that are completely fixable. This excludes extreme cases like dealing with bad health or death. I am talking about things like money, career paths, weight, self-esteem and relationships.

What I still don't understand is why people settle for these negative feelings. Do they think that it's not even worth a try to get better? Is it that they find comfort within their own negativity? Do they settle with their status quo? Or is it that it is too hard for people to overcome the barriers that they create in their own minds?

Truthfully, I think it's the latter.

I was once unhappy. However, my unhappiness stemmed from my loved one fighting for his life. My innate personality is to be optimistic and to believe that everything can be changed in life. While my dad was struggling for his life I was very sad, however inside I just felt like my dad would make it. I felt that way because I'm optimistic and believe in beating the odds. What is amazing is that he did beat the odds. However, seeing him so sick and so unable to care for himself put me in a downward spiral of depression.

HOWEVER...

I hated feeling depressed all of the time. I wanted out of the dark cloud so badly. Everyday was a struggle for me because I knew that being happy was just a feeling that I could not live without. I finally gave in and decided that it was time to get help. I wasn't going to settle for less than happy. I wasn't going to create barriers in my head that would block me from achieving my happiness. I didn't want to become negative.

Time and time again my husband and I have discussed just how different I am. There are times when I will say, "Well why don't they just do this..." to which my husband replies, "Not everyone is like you. Not everyone has your will and your drive." What comes naturally to me does not come naturally to most people. For me, there is no other option. I always look for solutions and never settle for the easiest path.

So why am I writing about this today? Well because I am beginning to find that people hate it when I'm happy. It's not that they don't want me to be happy, it's just that they don't want to feel their unhappiness. Seeing me content only reflects just how much they are not happy. The happier I get, the more I achieve, the harder I work and the more satisfaction that I get out of my life... the lonelier it gets. Truthfully, the choice is mutually inclusive of me not wanting to be around negative people and negative people not wanting to be around me.

So where do I go from here? Where are the positive people? Where are the people that wake up each day and feel good about their lives? I know they are out there because I see so many people achieving extraordinary things and I know that because they pushed themselves they found their happiness. I just need to find these people and I believe that for me these people are in the realm of fitness. I just need to get out there and pinpoint who is good to be around and who isn't.

I will not settle for negative encounters.

"If there is dissatisfaction with the status quo, good. If there is ferment, so much the better. If there is restlessness, I am pleased. Then let there be ideas, and hard thought, and hard work. If man feels small, let man make himself bigger." - Hubert H. Humphrey



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